My projects do not always go according to plan, in this case a collage I started on a small sketchbook as a gift. My piece was coming together very slowly; I wasn't very happy with my magazine choices and didn't feel 'the muse'. I was also having difficulty taking into account the receiver of this gift, because though our aesthetics differ I still wanted to make something I liked. After a few hours of struggling a lovely composition emerged: As the background, an eerie image taken from an article about in-vitro fertilization. At the bottom a line of symmetrical red rose petals fronted a full peony, out of which emerged a woman's hands which appeared to capture a plume of pink and green smoke.
Glueing the elements down is where everything started to go wrong. This is a good lesson in not experimenting with art supplies you are inexperienced with. In my case, Mod Podge. Though it is a well known product in the world of crafters I had never really used it until an enthusiastic article caused me to question my aversion (I thought it was just a pricey glue). Regardless, my delicate collage was hardly the place to try a new technique without practicing. My work was falling apart before my eyes-- pieces were wrinkling and buckling, grit appeared out of nowhere, areas tore and the color was even rubbing off on small areas of the magazine print. It was frustrating enough getting the collage together, and then I ruined it with my hubris.
I did attempt to "fix" it, but my efforts were exacerbating the issues... my composition's airiness had disappeared and the direction I went was down, down into the land of harsh outlines. It was with a grim bullheadedness I took to it with pale markers, then gold streaks, and finally the black pen. For me the greatest loss has been the smoke effect in her hands, (actually taken from an ad for Sherwin Williams in which paint has been poured into water and the resulting plumes photographed) and the sense of motion and upward thrust.
In the end it isn't as though this launched me into a depression, I don't hate it, and I acknowledge that someone else might look at this collage and absolutely love it! But the original pride I felt for it is gone, and I haven't yet decided whether or not to cover it with an entirely new design. These things happen-- pages rip, you trim something a cut too far, you spill your glue or cat hairs become embedded in the most obvious area. The point is that in the grand scheme of disappointments this is hardly the iceberg to my Titanic. One bad day will not discourage me, and should not discourage you. All artists and creatives experience moments when we feel like we have "lost" our skill and making our ideas a reality fails. However, we learn from our mistakes, accept that not every day is a good day, and continue creating anyway because it is fun and we are awesome.